Are you compatible?

  The Astrological inquiry I hear the most is from people wanting to know if their sign makes them romantically compatible with that special someone. Now, we already know that we're all more complex than just our Sun signs, but the Sun is a significant part our identity and how we relate to others. I prefer to say that while our Sun signs alone cannot determine IF two people can get along with each other, but they it might give you insight into HOW two people get along with each other. It really bugs me when people say things like, "I'm a Capricorn, my ex-wife is a Pisces, we're supposed to be able to get along, but she's a bitch. Astrology is bogus." It's a pretty common way people enjoy debunking Astrology actually. Some Atheist magazine did a spread awhile back about how divorce rates in England were the same for couples who were compatible astrologically as those who weren't but they only looked at Sun signs of course. Mars and Pluto will tell you how a couple will relate to each other sexually. Venus can tell us what attracts two people to each other in the first place. Saturn can tell us about a couple's ability to endure the test of time. Some Astrologers think compatible Moons are the most important factor to consider because that will show how a couple relates on the deepest level.

  But fuck it, Valentine's madness is upon us, Everyone already knows their Sun sign, and social media makes it pretty easy to find out the Sun sign of that special someone if you don't already know it. Even serious Astrologers like Liz Greene are willing to discuss Sun sign compatibility, so why shouldn't I?

   The most general way possible to make a guess of how two people will get along is by looking at the elements of their sign. As a general rule, same elements tend to get along, and have a lot in common. So much so that both parties probably need to have a few separate interests and friends to keep life interesting. Especially if the couple is not only the same element, but also the same sign. Same sign couples need a break from each other from time to time. They can be intense. Fiery Leos Sean Penn and Madonna come to mind. Some Astrologers argue that complimentary elements are the best fit. Air/Fire and Water/Earth. Complimentary elements are supposed to create balance and harmony in the life of a couple. But what if you're a sweet airy Libra and your beau is a watery Cancer? Don't worry. Libras tend to do better in relationships and Cancers are the caretakers of the Zodiac, you'll be fine. Personally I think  when a couple is drawn to one another even if they look incompatible on paper, it's a sign a higher force has brought them together, and an opportunity to grow and change!

  So let's talk elements!
FIRE: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius are all fire signs. Fire is considered to be a positive, or masculine element because it is more outwardly expressive. Fire signs are know for their passion and their creativity. You notice these people right away. Fire signs have an inner nobility and can be too idealistic for their own good. In love, they can be boisterous and giving to a fault. They tend to come on strong in the beginning. Subtlety isn't really their strong suit. In general, they are warm, loving, loyal,  and fun to be around. They can be attentive partners, but for some, listening can be a challenge.

AIR: Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius are all air signs.Air is also considered to be positive/masculine. Air signs are quirky, intellectual,and verbal. They tend to me the chatterboxes of the Zodiac. Air signs place a high level of importance on friendship. For an Air sign, things just seem to run more smoothly if friendship is involved. Air signs are great at diffusing potentially volatile situations by keeping things light. So much so that some people may think they're unemotional. A comment lament from the people who love an Air sign is that they'll talk about anything, except their feelings. In love they are playful and sweet.

WATER: Cancer, Scorpio,and Pisces are all water signs. Water is considered to be a feminine, receptive element. Water rules the emotions, and water signs tend to run deep. Sensitive, artistic, and mystical, theses guys keep it real. They may seem guarded at first,but that's just because they're so tender hearted underneath. Some of them have well developed senses of humor as a form of protection. In love, once they trust you, they can be very giving, but they can turn cold really fast if they sense you're holding back. Be gentle with these gentle souls, and be careful, they hold grudges!

EARTH: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn are the Earth signs of the Zodiac. Earth is also a receptive, feminine element. The Earth signs are our anchors, they're here to help us stay grounded and stable. An Earth sign would appreciate a well made gift over something flashy. They also respond well to baked goods They're the sensualists of the Zodiac. Earth signs can be loving and giving, but don't expect them to talk about their feelings without being prompted. Having said that, they don't shy away from real talk and will give it to you straight if the situation calls for it.

  So what chemical changes occur when we combine these elements? Let's see:

FIRE with FIRE: Two Fire signs together can be fierce. Their mutual attraction will be obvious. They will most likely be intensely loyal to each other, but also unafraid to air their grievances in public. This is a couple that likes to see and be seen. Time, and other factors will determine if these two can continue to evolve as a couple and maintain a slow burning passion, or if they'll go down in a blaze of drama. Famous fiery couples include Leo Ben Affleck with Aries Jennifer Garner, and Leos Antonio Banderas with Melanie Griffith.

AIR with AIR: Two Air signs together can be a beautiful thing. Two of my dearest friends are a Gemini/Aquarius couple and it is such a treat when they come to visit. They create a playful energy, and have a better than average ability to understand each others thinking. They can have fun with each other out on the town, or just staying in, racing each other to the end of the crossword. It almost gives me hope for Aquarius Kanye West and Libra Kim Kardashian!  Other famous airy couples include Libras Micheal Douglas with Catherine Zeta-Jones (Same Birthday!) and Geminis Neil Patrick Harris with David Burkta.

WATER with WATER: Two water signs together can create a mysterious, mystical bond that outsiders don't have a chance of penetrating. Sensuous and dreamy, these two can support each others artistic endeavors and can communicate without speaking sometimes. Intuitive enough to give each other space when they need it, they most likely enjoy a mix of going in and staying out. Be forewarned, if you make plans with this couple, they will probably be late. Famous watery couples include Scorpio (of course) Ryan Gosling with Pisces Eva Mendes and Scorpio Goldie Hawn with Pisces Kurt Russel.

EARTH with EARTH: Two Earth signs in love may fall off the map in the beginning. They'd rather stay in, making delicious dinners in a well organized home. My in-laws are a Virgo/Capricorn couple and I love that my father-in-law has a well maintained garage for his various projects and my mother-in-law has an office for her stamping and stationary projects. They spend a chunk of every weekend separate but together, working with their hands. This kind of couple does run the risk of never being willing or able to discuss their feelings or inner worlds, but overall this combination has the potential to be peaceful and content together. Famous earthy couples include Capricorn Martin Luther King with Taurus Coretta Scott King, and Taurus Jessica Alba with Capricorn Cash Warren.

FIRE with AIR: Fire and Air can be a lot of fun together, Air loves to try new things, Fire loves to do things on a grand scale.Fire loves to get dressed up, observant Air appreciates beauty. Their shared love of excitement can make them the life of the party. Communication should not be a problem for them either. Provided they have some shared interests, these two can really bring out the best in each other! Famous Fire/Air couples include Gemini Angelina Jolie with Sagittarius Brad Pitt, and Aquarius Jennifer Aniston with Leo Justin Theroux.

WATER with EARTH: This combination is said to have the gift of endurance. Maybe it's the emotional honesty or the ability to give the other space, but these couples are built to last.Water can have a soothing, healing effect on hardworking Earth, and Earth can help put some of Water's more intense emotions into perspective. Together, they just feel at home. Bonus for the rest of us, as a general rule, this couple will not fight in public. Some famous Water/Earth couples include Virgo Blake Lively with Scorpio Ryan Reynolds and Capricorn Duchess Kate Middleton with Cancer Prince William.

WATER with AIR: These two are both lovers of humanity. Like bubbles in a champagne glass, these two can be a lot of fun together. They can talk for hours, sharing their unique perspectives on art, the human condition and everything else! I think this combination offers a unique opportunity for two individuals to evolve within a relationship. Some famous Water/Air couples include Cancer Nancy Reagan with Aquarius Ronald Reagan and Pisces Jessica Biel with Aquarius Justin Timberlake.

WATER with FIRE. Perhaps the most maligned of all Astrological combos, I think the feeling is Water will dampen the spirits of exuberant Fire, and Fire is too self absorbed to deal with Water's moodiness. But I've seen it work! Both are drama queens in their own way, and they can be a lot of fun together. They're also both creative. As long as they can can each give the other space sometimes, I really don't see a problem-especially if they are both open to growth. Famous Water/Fire couples include Aries Elton John with Scorpio David Furnish and Leo Kyra Sedgewick with Cancer Kevin Bacon.

FIRE with EARTH: This is another maligned combination that I have seen be great together. Fire can enliven things for dry, pragmatic Earth. Earth can help bring an excitable Fire down to well, Earth. There will need to be compromises about how the couple divides their time, but I think these two can really inspire greatness in each other. Leo Barack and  Capricorn Michelle seem to be doing okay! Virgo Beyonce and Sagittarius Jay-Z seem to be making it work as well.

EARTH with AIR: Have there ever been stranger Astrological bedfellows? Easy, breezy Air, and solid, dependable Earth? Well, all of us seek out what we're lacking. Air can help Earth keep it light, maybe have a night on the town, or have friends over and not clean up immediately after.I can see these two having a fun lazy Saturday bad TV marathon, Earth will make the pancakes. Earth can help Air be a grown up, maybe through talking, Air's favorite activity. They're both organizers, so those are lessons they can learn from each other as well. Famous Earth/Air couples include Libra Annie Liebowitz with Capricorn Susan Sontag and Gemini Priscilla Presley and Capricorn Elvis.

  In conclusion, Astrology is a tool to help us be our best selves. At it's highest, that's what romantic love does too. No matter who you love, or what their sign is, that person is in your life for a reason.